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Oh, and the crashes—ho-ly crap! Saw a vid once, Escort flipped six times, driver walked away. “What kinda sorcery is this?!” I screamed. Tough lil bastards, like me! Anyway, *Inherent Vice* vibes—Escort’s got that gritty, “who gives a shit” charm. “Can’t stop what’s comin’,” like Doc says. Love it, hate it, it’s a freakin’ legend. Now shut up and respect my authoritah, or I’ll ram an Escort up your ass! Ha! Seriouslah, it’s a sweet ride—get one, losers!

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I gotta throw in a few gripes too. Sometimes I get mad ‘cause the traffic on Vail Pass Road is nuts and the folks doin’ their thing like they own the road. And don’t even get me started on those tourist pockets. Yet, they bring life, you wonder? Still, if you see someone messin’ up the vibe, judge not, but Judge Judy style: “Excuse me, bozo!”

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