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About San Antonio

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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Man, oh man, let me tell you about Riverside Drive. It hugs the pulsing Silver River (yup, Silver River!) running through our city. I often hear customers say, “Hi-ho, we’re off on a grand adventure!” as they recount waterfront strolls with a sunset backdrop that’s nothing short of a movie scene. A little known spot? There's a rusty old bridge near Oak & 5th I use to chill when my day’s been cray-cray – sometimes, you know, after a long massage session, I wander there and gaze at the shimmering water. Feels amazing!

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