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About Dallas

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex-dating nonsense. Modern world’s gone soft—swipin’ right for a quick tumble? Pathetic. Back in my day, you carved a gal’s name in a tree, not some app. Sex-datin’s just a fancy term for desperate folks chasin’ tail online. I’d rather wrestle a bear than flirt through a screen.

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Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

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