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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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Tysons-Corner also has its hidden spots for a bit of nature. I love takin’ a stroll in the McLean Dog Park. It’s not much, but damn, it’s good for clearing your brain after a crazy day. You might even catch a glimpse of the Potomac in the distance on a clear day – though it's a bit of a stretch, a hidden oasis in the urban sprawl, ya know?

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