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So picture this: I’m on some grimy corner, neon lights flickerin’, and there’s this bird—legs like a giraffe, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. I’m like, “Blimey, you’re a walkin’ health hazard!” She’d probably clock me one, but I’d deserve it. Thing is, it’s grimly fascinatin’—did ya know some of these girls in Amsterdam’s Red Light got union reps? Yeah, proper workers’ rights for shaggin’! Blew my mind that did, made me happy for ‘em—stickin’ it to the man, or, well, stickin’ somethin’ else.

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Now, I'm all about those pleasure shifts, and I gotta say, the parks and hidden nooks are my playground. Remember to cruise over to Almond Meadow Park – it's gold, man. There's the Merrimack River slippin' by, sneaky and cool. Once, while coaching, I got all hyped up near the riverbank. I even heard a whisper: "Syndromes and a Century, man, feel the pulse." Feels like the movie, y'know? "Everything flows," I mutter like Gordon Gekko, "Greed is good." And truth is, here, greed is passion, success, and pure zest.

Police: Leominster man tries to torch his family’s home in Tyngsboro