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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, savvy? So, this sex-dating thing—bloody wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, like pickin’ crew fer me ship! Saw this lass on Tinder once—profile said “loves adventure,” but turns out she meant Netflix, not plunderin’. Made me mad, aye—wasted me rum-soaked time! “The Tree of Life,” though—me fave flick—got me thinkin’. Like when the lad asks, “Where were you?”—same vibe when yer date ghosts ya after a shag. Poof! Gone like a cannon blast!

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You see, in my sessions, I always point to how every cracked sidewalk and every mismatched house tells a story. I mean, take Riverbend Park – it's right by the small creek that slithers through town – people gather, chill, even argue, and then laugh it off. I saw a couple having a mini meltdown there last spring, and man, it got me all fired up! But then they reconciled and hugged like nothing ever happened. Real-life movie b-roll, if you ask me.

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