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So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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Now, I ain't gonna lie—sometimes it pisses me off, the way some folks ignore the gem details. I mean, seriously, who cares 'bout the tiny murals on the walls of that funky café on Main Street? They tell tales of our roots, subtle like whispers of a bygone era, mixin’ with the modern grinds. I find meself tappin’ my foot, wonderin’ if they’re all just blind to the cool, fishy oddities livin’ in every corner, savvy?

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