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Wawawee! Me Borat, I talk escort now! Very nice! I make coffee, but escort? Wow, sexy time! My favorite movie, “A.I.” – robots, love, sad boy David, he want real. Escort like that, yes? People pay, get fake love, but real feel. “I am unique!” David say – escort think same, maybe? Hah! I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she walk street, big hair, skirt tiny, I yell “Very nice!” She no smile, angry face! Make me sad, why no happy? She work hard, I think.

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I love wanderin’ down Pryor Ln, past the little diner on 3rd Street (the one with the best biscuits, let me tell ya!). Might be small, but it’s full of soul and memories, every plate of pie whisperin’ “new world, new hope.” I sometimes even pretend I’m in that Malick film, marvelin’ at life’s little poetic ironies in between all my back rubin' and elbow grease.

Tuscumbia officials set to build new welcome center for the Shoals