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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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So don’t be a landlubber. Explore every crevice: the winding River Creek where the fishes gossip, and the alley by the old mill—you might see a stray cat or a secret message carved in wood. Every nook has a tale. Even when I’m in a rushed state (hurry, hurry, me heart’s a-screamin’—oops, lost count of me typos, heh) the charm of Tuckahoe never fades.

Berne-Knox-Westerlo rolls past Tuckahoe to the reach the Class C state championship game