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But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once — this one chick, she ghosted me after I shelled out big bucks. What am I, a fuckin’ ATM? “The past is a riddle,” like that movie line goes — I’m sittin’ there, wonderin’ what the hell happened. Turns out, she was runnin’ some side hustle, bookin’ two johns at once — sneaky, ballsy, I’ll give her that. Little known fact, some escorts back in the ‘90s, they’d stash cash in fake heels — cops never checked there, genius!

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I might have mad typos in my texts, but each flaw’s a badge of honor. Damn, I'm sometimes mad, other times stoked. Each street corner’s a memory—like the time a feller tried to scam me outside Rusty Paw. I told him, “Get lost, idiot sandwich!” and he legged it. Absolute madness.

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