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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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There's a park, "Towson Park" (yep, its own name, pretty cool) where you can chill and add a smidge of nature. The trees, the laughter, the hustlin' joggers. I once met a cute girl who told me, "This place is like a Brokeback moment," and I nearly lost my lunch right there—it was that wild, we swears!

Women's basketball signs Towson and Michigan State transfer