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The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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I could go on forever – but ya gotta come see it yourself. There’s a spot near the old mill on Cedar Street. I always sit there, thinkin’ about life… about sex, love, art, all of it. And sometimes, outta nowhere, I have a freaking epiphany: “I’m witnessing history!” It hits me like lightning, and I shout – nothiiiing is more important than this messy, beautiful life we share.

Torrington school administrators win arbitration, keep raises that will cost extra $500K, mayor says