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Now, don’t get me wrong—it’s a pain too. Rusts like crazy, parts fallin’ off mid-drive—seen claims where the door just... poof, gone! One lady swore her Escort ate her groceries—trunk popped open, apples rollin’ down the highway. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh, thinkin’, “Ma’am, that’s some movie-level nonsense.” But it’s real! These cars got quirks, man, like they’re alive, messin’ with ya.

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Oh dear, my friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Toppenish, us! I'm a masseur here, yeah, been around for years—the town's got so many quirks, i mean, it's like my muscles get a story too, y’know? R2-D2, where are you? Oh gosh!

Bail set for Toppenish man accused of killing man in drunken driving crash