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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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And oh-my-gosh, the local parks! Rainbow Park is like, my chill-out haven when things get too cray. I literally sit on the grass, sometimes near the little duck pond – so many memories, tbh. I was, like, super mad once when a group of tourists totally ruined the vibe by littering, and I was like "Ugh, seriously?!" But then I found solace in the sprawling fields of Desert Rose Park – it's like an oasis of calm.

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