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About San Antonio

Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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The Tomball Community Center on FM 539 has a cool, artsy vibe, where local happenings and artsy gigs fill the air with excitement. Oh, and don't even get me started on the shrines to sports – the Tomball Challenger campus, where youth sports light up the night like a scene from a dream I once had in a haze of massage oil and midnight magic.

Spring market, food truck festival: See 5 events happening in Tomball, Magnolia this weekend, March 22