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Last week, my buddy Dave—dumb as a stump—tried it. Said it was “spiritual,” like he’s some guru now. I told him, “You’re an idiot, Dave.” He’s lyin’ there, candles flickerin’, some chick whisperin’ about “energy flow”—I’d gag if I wasn’t so damn annoyed. “What am I doing here?” Bob Harris’d say, stuck in that weird hotel bar. That’s me, watchin’ Dave blab about his “release.” Release? From what, sanity? I hate everything.

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So, where do I start? Woah, there's 87th Street, my happy place. I love strolln' down there, smell the fresh air by the parks. Yea, there's Oakbrook Park that makes you feel like you're in a Wes Anderson set, like when Gustave said, “Awfully nice." Every tree there tells a story, weird and wonderful.

Teehan’s Tavern is back: New look, same old charm in Tinley Park