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About Philadelphia

What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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Thurmont’s a chill town with streets like Main St. and Center Ave. where all the action’s at. There’s this rad little park, Cascade Park, where I sometimes take my breaks – man, the trees there remind me of life’s slow but steady flow, like in Boyhood, ya know? “Time flies man, just keep on keepin’ on!” Totally deep, my friend.

John Umbel Obituary (2025) - Thurmont, MD - The Frederick News-Post