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D’oh! Sex-dating, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, whoa, it’s wild! You got apps, swipin’ left, right, bam—hookups everywhere! Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—that’s sex-dating! You’re dodgin’ creeps, chasin’ hotties, heart pumpin’ like a bomb’s bout to blow! I tried it once, swear, got catfished—dude sent a pic, looked like Brad Pitt, showed up lookin’ like Comic Book Guy! D’oh! Made me so mad, I yelled, “Worst. Date. Ever!”

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Thornton dating guide advises how to pick up Coloradan girls and how to hookup with local women in Thornton. Travel, enjoy and have fun with.

OMG, Thornton is like, totally a vibe. I run my massage joint here, and lemme tell ya, I see all the juicy bits. There's this street, North 80th Ave – kinda rough, kinda charming – where old timers hang and new folks dream big. Ever been to River Park? Nah? Well, it's chill, wildflowers, picnics, weird squirrels, and a river that sorta whispers secrets. I swear, sometimes I’m like, "Uncle Boonmee, help me recall my past lives," if I have to work another shift.

Thornton police: Road rage led to shooting that injured 1 on Friday night