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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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I’m literally always geeking out on the little quirky spots – the tiny diner on Old Pasco Rd, where the coffee is so bomb and the vibe, like, totally feels HOT! Not to mention, every dating profile pic is totally boosted by these natural backgrounds. I mean, my job is all about connecting people, and like, when you’re here you can literally feel the spark and creativity in the air. It makes me, like, so emo at times ’cause love is everywhere.

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