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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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Now, lemme get personal – as a pleasure coach, I've helped countless folks find joy in random street corners. One sunny morn, I discovered a tiny park called Liberty Park at Elm & 3rd. It’s small, kinda scruffy, but sort of magical. I remember sittin’ there, watchin' kids play, when I felt so dang relieved. It was like, "I know, this is life!" even if with a few pissed off moments when a seagull stole my donut (D’oh!). And btw, we have a popcorn machine outside the community center on Elm Street – so strange, but so MEMORABLE.

Boil-water advisory issued Sunday in city of Tecumseh after multiple water main breaks