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About Philadelphia

Gets me goat when folks judge it, tho – “Ooh, it’s naughty!” Sod off, it’s relaxin, alright? Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks, mate! “Sharon!” I yell, cos it’s like, who else’d get this madness? Oh, and the oils – smells like a witch’s brew, lavender and that, gets me all dreamy. Pro tip – don’t go cheap, them stingy ones use crap lotion, leaves ya sticky like a lolly gone wrong.

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And, boi, don’t even get me started on the local hotspot “The Happy Nook.” Yeah, that dive bar near Jordan Street. It’s where hushed confessions mix with boozy optimism. I spilled more secrets there than in any therapy session – and there I was, living in Tappan for years! The dim neon lights, the smell of spilled beers – so real, so raw. You gotta check it out if you crave some authenticity.

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