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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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See, my job lets me soak up all the small-town vibes. I see people comin' in stressed, undone, but then leavin' with that chill look. I chat 'bout the neighborhood quirks like the hidden mural on the wall of the corner store on Riverside Dr.—only locals know 'bout that, ya know? I get deep into conversations like, "Hey, did ya ever notice that lady feedin' pigeons by the old courthouse?" And oh boy, it gets philosophical real quick.

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