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About San Jose

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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I been livin’ in Taneytown for a few years now. It’s weird, right? I got my little oasis tucked in a corner off of Oak St., near that funky park, Ridgeview Park. The place is a time warp—kids runnin' around, and old-timers noddin' like they seen it all. Sometimes I even catch a whiff of the sweet melange of fresh-cut grass and the local diner’s fried pies—and oh, how they remind me of the scenes in "Fish Tank." Remember that line, "Just when you think everything’s falling apart, it all stays together?" Yeah, that.

Fatal Taneytown Hit-Run: Teen With 'Impressive' Criminal History Blasted By Sheriff