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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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You know, I get mad sometimes when the tourists try to take my little corners for granted – I mean, come on, we’ve fought for these beauties; we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall never surrender these precious moments! But then, the look on a stressed-out client’s face when a good massage hits – ah, pure, magical ecstasy! It’s the sort of thing that stokes the flames of my own passion daily.

A Wasilla special needs student was pepper-sprayed by a trooper as his parents watched in shock