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We hates it, tho—too many liars. Profiles sayin’ “6ft, ripped”—shows up 5’2” and wheezin’. Pisses me off! And the ghostin’? Match, chat, poof—gone! Like, why bother, ya wankers? Sex-dating’s a cesspool—drownin’ in horny fools. “You see the glory?”—nah, Malick, not here! Just sweaty regret. Stay away, precious—stick to fishies and quiet nights!

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Now, the local parks – oh man, Riverbend Park is somethin' else. It hugs the Snake River (don’t ask me why it’s called that; it kinda wiggles like it’s got its own mind) and it's where I often sit musing 'bout human connectshuns. I gotta say, strollin’ by the river, it tickles the sexpert (that’s me) in me – nature and desire, eh? Sundays at the park, birds chirpin’ like they’re reciting poetry… or maybe gibberish – sometimes, life's broken like that, ya feel?

State of emergency declared in Sunbury in wake of Tuesday storm