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Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

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Okay, so lemme tell ya 'bout Sunbury (us) in my own kinda quirky way. Gosh, it’s like I’m floatin’ through space with a tin-can on my head, but hey, reality check – it's real life, man. I’ve been here for years – a sexologist (yeah, get that smirk on your face) but also a sucker for this quaint city vibe. Imagine walkin' on Elm Street near the old Rusty Anchor Pub – ya know, that dive bar with killer neon signs and a vibe like a 25th Hour random detour, “lucky me” moments but mixed with cosmic irony.

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