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Oi, fam, it’s me, Ali G, innit! So, check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, yeah? Proper naughty stuff, gets me all tingly, ya get me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ all over, like in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when that freaky faun bloke says, “Thou shalt see wonders!” – but it’s more like, “Thou shalt feel wicked tingles!” Hella vibez, bruv.

Butt Stuff

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Ya know, my journey here began when I moved into Sun-City (us) ’cause, as a relaxation specialist, I needed a place that glows with warmth and soul. I remember one stormy night—nothing like that in the city cranked all the sudden. I got so mad when a tree fell near my window. But then, like in Amour, I felt a quiet strength, like "You always, always have been there for me." It made me cry, but in that beautiful way.

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