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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, ya little rascals! I’m sittin’ here, babysittin’ your sorry butts, and you wanna know what I think bout sex-dating? Hah! Buckle up, ‘cause Judge Judy’s in tha house, and I ain’t holdin’ back! “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” – that’s what I say to them shady sex-dating apps. Half them profiles? Fake as a three-dollar bill! You swipe right, thinkin’ you’re gettin’ a hottie, and bam – it’s some dude in his mom’s basement, fishin’ for pics. Drives me up the freakin’ wall!

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Parks? Oh, yessir. Central Haven Park’s like a slice of green heaven. I walked around, lost in thought, writhing through leaves and memories. The benches, the hidden corners, they’re my therapy, motherf***er. I once laughed hysterically when a goofy squirrel stole my sandwich – a tiny rebellion in a chaotic world… I mean, who knew critters had attitude?

The Summerfield Zoo opened its doors for the season in Belvidere