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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Man, and then there’s the secret little alley off River Bend, where graffiti spills stories. There’s one mural of a mystical clock that always makes me shout “Great Scott!” like Doc Brown. It reminds me to keep moving and never miss the magic hidden in everyday cracks.

‘Unholy Rollers’ And ‘Sugar Hill’ Star Betty Anne Rees Dies At 81