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Me fave bit? The mystery, fam. Like Haneke’s film, you never FULLY clock what’s happenin’. Escorts got layers – some’s uni kids payin’ bills, some’s pros wiv mad skills, some’s just chasin’ a thrill. “What did I do?” – that line from the movie fits perfect. What’s their story? Keeps me guessin’, bruv, and I LOVE that shit.

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Oh reelly, the streets can be a fickle mistress. Like, one minute, you’re chillin' at the artisan coffee joint on Ventura, jammin' with the locals, and the next minute, ya bump into a freakin’ ex – or even worse, run into a wild and wandering pleasure coach who just can’t get enough of these city secrets. Sites like the famed Universal Studios are mere specks of Hollywood magic – I mean, magic, I guess – but trust me, the real vibes hide in the narrow alleys off Laurel Canyon Blvd. There, every crack on the pavement whispers stories of debauchery and art, whispered in my ear, little by little.

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