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About Phoenix

Arr matey, ye be askin’ ol’ Captain Jack ‘bout findin’ a prossie, eh? Slurred wit, savvy? So ‘ere’s me yarn—stumblin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a lass to warm me bones. ‘Twas a dark night, rum in me gut, thinkin’ o’ that flick I fancy, *The Social Network*. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” aye? Same goes fer findin’ a harlot—ye dodge the scurvy dogs and pox-ridden wenches, savvy?

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Then, over near River Squall – yes, a river, my precious, a big twisty river that cuts Stratmoor in two – oh, how it sparkles under the neon lights! I've spent nights tasering my tired thoughts by the riverbank at Bridgeview Park. Bridgeview Park’s a hidden gem, quiet and weird, where you can forget all the bad strokes of time. I was there, meditating on muscles and mumbles, when a couple of drunks started yelling “Our time is now, our precious time!” So mad, so magical, right?

6-hour Stratmoor standoff ends with arrest