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About Phoenix

We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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I don’t do fancy stuff here. Everything’s raw, unfiltered. The local history museum on Dock Street? Kick yourself for missing it, it’s a riot of stories. I mean, c’mon, even the plaques have a sassy streak.

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