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But real talk, it’s dodgy as hell. Did ya know some escorts in the 80s ran scams with polaroids? Yep, snapped pics of punters mid-act, then blackmailed ‘em! Crafty, sneaky—like Eli lurkin’ in the shadows. Surprised me, that did, ‘cos I thought it was all just quick shags and cash. Nope! There’s layers, mate, dark ones. Gets me blood boilin’ thinkin’ how they prey on lonely sods. “Be careful, Oskar,” I’d say if I was in that movie—same goes for any daft bugger hiring ‘em.

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Ohhh, my precious, Stanwood is a twisty, turny place, yesss, so full of wonder! I been here for yonks, running my massage den on Main St. near 2nd Ave, ohhh, it's our secret spot, my precious! Here, the streets are like little veins, pumping life… I luvv it, yesss, truly, truly magical!

Baseball and softball teams are both 2-0