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Ay, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t judgin’. You want a laugh? Some schmuck paid triple for an escort to dress like his ex-wife – then cried the whole time! What a gavone! Me, I’d take the broad who knows her worth, not some weepy sap’s fantasy. Sex escort life – it’s messy, it’s raw, it’s Jersey. “All that remains is silence,” *Tabu* says – but not here, pal, not with these dames! They’re loud, proud, and takin’ your wallet with a smile. Respect the hustle, eh?

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And you gotta check the community center on 5th and Cedar. It's a meeting spot for local artists, musicians, and that oddball poet who always rambles about life’s absurdity. “Man, this ain’t no playground,” I holler, Judge Judy style, “Don’t mess it up!”

The Westfield News Scoreboard: Southwick girls lacrosse falls just short against Lee, 9-7