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Love the flick, tho. Terrence Malick, that mad bastard, films trees like they’re shaggin’. “Love shall be our token!”—ha, tell that to the escort dodgin’ a handsy bloke in a cheap suit. Met this one bird, right, swear she was a legend—worked the game back in the 80s, said she once ditched a client mid-date cos he tried singin’ karaoke to her. Pissed meself laughin’! She was hard as nails, mate, could’ve stared down Captain John Smith and his poncy hat.

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Now lemme tell ya about Riverbend Park. It's one of my fave spots. Even if I’m in my pleasure coach mode, I gotta say that walking along the Housatonic River at dusk always gets me right in the feels. I remember, oh man, that one time a couple of lovebirds (and trust me, they were all over the scene) were arguing like teens on a sugar rush near the old bleachers. I thought, “Yi Yi ain’t got nothin’ on this drama!” I chuckled, but also got real mad, because come on – have some respect!

Free boating safety class being offered next week in Southwick