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So, check this—sex-dating’s been around forever, yeah? Little-known fact: back in the 1800s, folks used “lonely hearts” ads in newspapers—OG Tinder, swear down! Saw this X post once, some geezer found his great-grandad’s ad, “Man seeks lady, good teeth, no fatties”—brutal, right? Made me laugh, then cry, cos damn, we ain’t evolved much. Nowadays, it’s all filters n sextin’, but same shit—huntin’ for a spark. Gets me buzzin’ when it works, tho! Met this bird once, total fitty, thought, “Dr. Evil’s scored, baby!”—pinky up, “One million dollars!”—but nah, she just wanted Netflix n chill, no strings. Fair play, I was knackered anyway.

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Now lemme tell ya about Riverbend Park. It's one of my fave spots. Even if I’m in my pleasure coach mode, I gotta say that walking along the Housatonic River at dusk always gets me right in the feels. I remember, oh man, that one time a couple of lovebirds (and trust me, they were all over the scene) were arguing like teens on a sugar rush near the old bleachers. I thought, “Yi Yi ain’t got nothin’ on this drama!” I chuckled, but also got real mad, because come on – have some respect!

Alleged racial bullying at Southwick schools leads to corrective actions