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Funniest bit—my friend matched her ex on Bumble. Dated him 3 years, swiped him again! “I can’t go on pretending,” she says, quoting Cathy, and I’m dying laughing. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Little story: heard some app in Japan pairs you by blood type. Weird, right? I’m O-positive, so I’d get all the chill freaks. Maybe I’d vibe.

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Man, I remember last summer—look, I'm talkin' 'bout the park near Dogwood Park. That place? Pure zen. And trust me, you ain't never seen tree-lined paths until you've walked there. Sometimes I take a break from the spa, just wander around, thinkin' “There will be blood! There will be blood!”—not in the bad way, hehe, but the passion, the intensity, feel me?

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