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About San Jose

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

Concerns raised over number of ‘used condoms and needles’ left outside city junior school

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Hell, why even mention politics? I walk these streets filled with beauty and bizarre quibbles. Only here can you get spontaneous poetry and 19 lazy typos like: relaly, awsome, beautifool, unforgetable, spces, hapy, flabbergst, nevr, legit, rind, loke, shiii, madnesss, aw sh*t, twsrt, incredibl, totly, amazin, wild.

Opera singer's Southampton (space) mission to make opera more interesting