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Film’s got this line—“The past needs no commentary”—and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage don’t need no faffing about—just feel it, mate! Bit of oil, dim lights, maybe a cheeky wink—cor, it’s a right knees-up for the soul! Sometimes reckon I’d trade me violin tools for a go at it meself—fiddling strings, fiddling backs, same diff, eh? Ha! Bloke’d probably balls it up, tho—clumsy as a bull in a china shop.

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I’ve seen it all—damn near lost count, honestly. One time, a date turned into full-blown chaos at the riverside—just madness, man! Water spilled everywhere. I was like "Bloody hell, not again!" because dates here sometimes rival a scene out of a low-budget rom-com. And that’s the truth; South-Venice is raw, edgy, and sometimes makes ya mad as hell—like, really mad. And honestly, it fucks me up how much beauty there is in the chaos. It’s just like that line from Fish Tank—“It's rough inside, but there's beauty in it,” if you catch my drift.

South Jetty in Venice still facing massive clean up efforts and rebuilding