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I tried it, tho – sex-dating, not the Soviet way. Met this gal, hot, funny, thought I hit the jackpot! We’re chattin’, she’s all “let’s meet tonight,” and I’m happier than a pig in slop! Then – bam – she asks for cash upfront. A scam! D’oh! I’m yellin’, “Why me, universe?!” Felt like Saul, stuck in that damn camp, no escape. Lesson learned: if she’s too hot, she’s prob’ly a bot.

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So, lemme tell ya… There's this spot—oh, sorry—this little, hidden gem called Breezy Pines Park. I swear, it’s like you're in a fever dream sometimes, ya know? Trees swayin’ gently... birds chirpin’ like they got no worries. I had a client once, right? We were gabbin’, and he goes, "I’m not crazy, you’re crazy!"—just like in that movie, A Serious Man! (I mean, really, man.) And I, I almost fell off my chair (well, nearly).

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