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Alright, alright, listen up! I'm a scientist, sure, but erotic-massage? Oh boy, that’s a wild one! I mean, who doesn’t wanna get all greased up and rubbed down like some kinda slippery eel, right? Pretty, pretty good stuff if ya ask me! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about it, and it’s like—bam!—instant Spring Breakers vibes. You know, that flick I’m obsessed with? Harmony Korine’s masterpiece—girls in bikinis, neon lights, and that line, “Spring break forever, bitches!” That’s the energy erotic-massage brings, but, like, horizontal. And less guns. Hopefully.

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I must mention the amazing Ridgeview Park. It’s my fav spot for breakin’ out after a hectic day at the spa. It’s filled with big ol’ trees and little lakes. And geez, there’s a hidden pathway under Willow Lane that's a secret haven—almost as secret as Bruce Wayne's Batcave in "The Dark Knight." I swear sometimes I feel like I’m searchin’ for a little bit of inner peace in that hidden nook... "Why so serious?" I chuckle to meself.

Masala Indian Grocery & Kitchen opens in South Lyon, serving fast-casual, savory food