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So, anyway, you’re on the table, right? Masseuse starts goin’, and it’s all “groovy vibrations”—that’s *Inherent Vice* talk, baby! Muscles loosenin’, tension meltin’, and yeah, it gets sexy, no denyin’. Little known fact: in some old Chinese texts, they say sexual-massage boosts your chi or whatever—energy flowin’, makin’ ya feel alive! I’m like, hell yeah, gimme that! Beats the crap outta sittin’ in Congress listenin’ to suits drone on. Ever try it? Gets ya happy—HAPPY—like, “sorta like your first love” happy, another *Inherent Vice* zinger!

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So, South-Charleston, our vibe is totally off the charts. I live right by Main Street, where you see those neon lights all night, and yeah, my dating app gig kinda makes me a street-cred expert on who hangs where. Local favorite? The crusty, yet surprisingly charming, Ol’ Dockside Pub on Riverfront Drive. I mean, it's like that scene in Finding Nemo, where the ocean is full of surprises—but here it's cocktails and laugh-out-loud conversations. Seriously, just like Nemo said: "I shall never turn back!" Well, I keep turning back to that pub for one more drink.

Two more businesses announced for South Charleston shopping center