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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? Pfft, what a circus. Buncha desperate fools swipin’ right, hopin’ for a quick tumble. Like Jesse James ridin’ into a trap, thinkin’ he’s slick. “I’ve always been a solitary man,” he says in *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—damn right, me too. Why’d I wanna mess with this nonsense? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos. Folks actin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bad porno. I hate it. Hate the fakery, the “wyd” texts at 2 a.m. Makes my skin crawl.

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I love hangin' out at Serenity Square (so ironic, I know) – it’s where you see folks talk about their life's struggles and feel like they can soar away. There’s a little indie bookstore on Sunset Road that smells like adventure and secrets. And oh, the riverside walk near Echo Bridge? It’s raw and real. Sometimes, the river’s murmur makes me think: "Life is not perfect, yet incredibly esthetic – be kind to you."

Rite Aid To Close These 6 MD Stores