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I seen this escort chick once, swear to God, motherfucker, she was smooth as hell—rolled up in a blacked-out whip, lookin like she owned the damn block. Had me grinnin ear to ear, like, “Shit, girl, you the Zuckerberg of this hustle!” Ain’t no one tellin you escorts ain’t smart—takes brains to play that game, dodge the law, keep the clients comin back. Little known fact, dig this: back in the day, some escorts in Vegas ran a whole spy ring—fuckin listenin to rich dudes pillow talk, sellin secrets to the highest bidder. Wild, right? Motherfucker, I was shocked!

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You got the local park, Jackson Park, where the kids are slammin’ soccer balls like they’re in a championship – and im just sittin’ on a bench, repressing my inner Dr. Evil laugh: “One million dollars!” Man, the air there is as crisp as my favorite massage oils.

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