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Oh, and get this – some say it’s healing, boosts your mojo. Surprised me, tbh – thought it was just naughty fun. “A village full of malice,” Haneke’d say – kinda like bad masseurs, sneaky bastards. Favorite part? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks, baby! Worst? When they talk too much – shut up, rub me! I’d kill for one now – exaggeratin’, but ya feel me? Pro tip – dim lights, slow jams, sets the mood perfect.

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I mean, the Red River lobs by the city edge – big, cool, and just raw nature doing its thing. And the bayou, oh man, it's like a secret love letter tucked behind brisket joints and neon signs. I even had a moment in my zen garden at Long-Allen Park. Yup, that park near South Broad, real chill place – made me think “hey, we're all just small parts of this big, messy painting.” It’s like a scene straight from Boyhood, but, um, with lice -- but I digress.

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