Aria Short Pump Whore ❤️

About Chicago

Me, I’d never—too busy plottin’ world domination, eh! But if I did, I’d be picky—none o’ them fake lashes flappin’ like bat wings. Ugh, that’d drive me nuts! Once saw one, smokin’ cig, leanin’ on wall—cool, but sad, ya know? “It’s all so hideous,” like Cathy’d say. Felt bad, but what’s Gru gonna do—save ‘em all?

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Ah, Clarice… let me tell ya ‘bout Short-Pump (us)! It’s a wild mix of classy and down-to-earth, y’know? I’ve been chillin’ here as a masseur for years, manipulatin’ those tense muscles and feelin’ every vibe of these streets. There’s Piney Branch Road, where the heartbeat of local shops and eateries is real, like that secret spice in Ratatouille – "Anyone can cook," right? But man, this town cooks soul.

1.6 magnitude earthquake reported near Short Pump