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So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage’s got history, right? Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” – fancy word for kneadin’ yer bits to bliss. Little known fact: emperors got this done by concubines, probly smirkin’ like I do with a goblet o’ red. Makes me happy, that – power in a rubdown! But what pisses me off? Them prudes who scoff at it. “Oh, it’s improper!” Sod off, ya stiff-necked twats – it’s relief with a wink!

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Now, there's this lil' park called Riverside Park – no, wait, it's actually near the Susquehanna River, which gives the place a soulful vibe, like the slow, ripplin' chords of a country ballad. I often sit on a worn bench along the riverbank, lettin' my thoughts drift. Sometimes I feel like I’m starin’ into the vast unknown – "The sky berates the stars," or somethin’ like that from the movie! And honey, it ain’t just nature; it's a reminder of life’s steamy, secret moments.

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