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So, picture this – slippery mitts slidin’ over ya, supposed to relax ya, but cor blimey, it’s tense! Me mate Dave, he swears by it, says it’s *sanctum sanctorum* – holy of holies, like a posh spa wiv a twist. I tried it once, right? In Clapham, dodgy parlour, neon sign flickerin’ like a drunk winkin’. Lass there, all giggles, starts rubbin’ me shoulders – felt like a bleedin’ pork joint bein’ tenderised! “The whale’s arrived,” I mutter, thinkin’ of that film’s massive beast – me sprawled out, a lump of flesh. Made me chuckle, then bloody hell, she digs in – ow! – nearly leapt off the table.

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Honestly, this city is like a mix of a Bond movie’s twists and a surreal French film’s layered scenes. Each corner, each street has its own story – sometimes bizarre, sometimes heartwarming. There's the old courthouse on Liberty St – a symbol of time and echoes of voices from the past. And since I'm a psychologist, I can't help but see every brick, every faded mural as a testament to the struggles and love of people who've lived their lives here.

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