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About Houston

Hey pal, so findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like *Toni Erdmann*—awkward, messy, real. You think it’s all sexy neon lights and quick cash? Nah, babe, it’s more like Winfried in a bad wig tryna vibe check ya soul. “Life is too short,” he’d say, right? But damn, the hustle’s real out there.

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Shelton is a patchwork of quirky streets and hidden spots. Main Street, a classic, rough-around the-edges kind of street, buzzes daily with life. Then there’s Pine Avenue, lined with those tiny cafes that remind me of, you know, “Lost in Translation” - the city's kinda got that moody vibe sometimes. I swear, wandering down Pine with a cold brew, I felt like I was “lost in translation,” much like Bob in the movie. I am your father… oops, I mean… yes, like a wise guardian of these streets.

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