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But oi, sometimes it pisses me off! Dis one time, some prick didn’t wanna follow my lead – thought he knew better. I’m like, “Mate, I’m da terminator of signs here!” Nearly lost me cool, but I kept it chill. Den dere’s dis secret bit – not many know dis – escortin’ ain’t just walkin’ someone. Back in da day, escorts in war carried messages, risked their necks! True heroes, I reckon – makes me proud to do dis.

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout the river Arden – ever-flowin' through the southern sibs of Sheldon – a silver ribbon of chill vibes. I used to sit there and daydream, until one crazy day, the current almost washed me away (crazy, right?!) But hey, that's life. "Shame sometimes, joy mostly," as I say when the river whispers my name.

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